Sometimes, you will only find out that your partner is a narcissist after you get married. It’s not that there won’t be any red flags as you are dating, but usually many of the traits become clearer once you say I do. Being married to a narcissist is difficult. The same qualities that attracted you to them are usually the ones that will make the relationship complicated. If you discover that you are indeed dealing with a narcissist, you will need some ways to cope. Read on to find out how you can cope with the symptoms of narcissism.

See them for who they really are and make a decision

The very first step in dealing with a partner that has narcissistic tendencies is to see them for who they really are. You should keep in mind that more often than not, people with narcissistic personalities are pretty good at hiding and denying it. They will even make you feel guilty for calling them out.

 You should also understand that there is a great chance that your partner will likely not change their behavior. Staying in the relationship because you believe they will change is therefore not a good idea. If you do decide to stay, you need to accept that you might be the one to make changes and not them. This might not seem fair but it’s the reality in such situations. It’s quite difficult for individuals with narcissistic personalities to come to terms with their behavior and make a change.

Identify What Triggers Them

When you are married to a narcissist, one great way to cope is to identify what triggers their insecurities. People with narcissistic personalities tend to be secretly insecure and that’s usually what causes them to act out in anger or negatively towards others. Once you identify what triggers this behavior, you can either avoid the triggers or you can prepare yourself for the struggle they may be going through.

One of the most common reasons why a lot of people with narcissistic personalities end up lashing out is low self-esteem. Your partner will therefore have a difficult time coping if you point out something that will make them appear like they don’t know what they are talking about or doing. They will often react by belittling you in an attempt to try and feel better about themself.

So, it helps if you can identify this behavior and understand why they are acting that way. If you can’t fully understand their behavior and how to cope with it, it would be a good idea to consult a therapist. They are well experienced in this area and will help to walk you through what your spouse might be experiencing.

Build a support system

Building a support system around yourself is a great way to cope when you are married to someone with a narcissistic personality. Note that your partner will likely try to isolate you from your family and friends in an attempt to try and get all of your attention. They can even get jealous if you start spending time with other people. Sometimes they will criticize your friends, family or even a therapist in an effort to alienate you from them.

If you don’t have a support system, it will be difficult for you to cope. It becomes easier for your partner to control your life therefore you’ll end up not clearly seeing every wrong thing they will be doing. It’s therefore important to ensure that you have a support system even if it’s only a few people that you can talk to when things get tough. Your network can also include a therapist and people who have dealt with narcissistic abuse before.

 While it will likely be difficult to deal with a narcissistic partner, you can find that combining couples therapy with the tips above can greatly improve your relationship and well-being.

Begin Marriage & Family Counseling in Wake Forest, NC

You don’t have to struggle alone in your marriage. You can have a better relationship with your partner.. Our marriage and family counselors can help you along this journey. Our Wake Forest, NC-based therapy practice would be honored to support you. To begin, follow these simple steps:

1. Contact My-Therapist

2. Meet with a caring therapist

3. Find that flame and cultivate your marriage

Other Services Offered at My-Therapist

Marriage and Family Counseling is not the only service we offer from our Wake Forest, NC-based therapy practice. Other mental health services include online therapy, couples intensive therapy, AAMFT & LMHC approved supervision, foundations of lasting love, couples workshops and retreats, Gottman method couples therapy, emotionally focused couples therapy, and individual therapy.

References

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4688247/

https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-deal-with-a-narcissist

https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/narcissism/how-to-deal