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When there are issues present in a family unit, every person is negatively affected. Left unaddressed, these patterns worsen. This creates a cold, divided dynamic and needless suffering. When this happens, family therapy can help loved ones strengthen broken bonds and heal past hurt. Furthermore, family therapy can help build stronger families even if they’re not experiencing major conflict. Ultimately, family therapy has the potential to deepen understanding, respect, and care for one another in a completely new way.

Arguments and ongoing conflict are common reasons people seek out therapy. They reach a point in their relationships where they’re no longer communicating well. When this happens they begin repeating the same tired arguments over and over again. While points may be valid on all sides, no resolution can be achieved. This leaves families in what feels like a merry-go-round – all the motions with no destination.

Family Issues Come in Many Forms

Sometimes, issues like these have been allowed to fester. As a result, couples may have developed emotional distance from one another. Thus causing them to wonder if separation is in order. Yet, these aren’t the only issues couples face. Sometimes, a partner has an affair. As a result, the couple doesn’t know how to come back to the center following this form of betrayal.

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Finances can be another source of conflict in families. Without effective communication, couples may fear they won’t be able to move forward together. These talks may center around mutual plans, individual boundaries, and financial goals. Furthermore, gambling addictions may completely destabilize a family. It causes fear and insecurity for the future.

The effect marital issues have on children

When a couple is dealing with conflict, their issues often trickle down to their children. Though they may not know exactly what’s going on, young children are very attentive. They can recognize when harmony is missing in the home.

When you notice negative patterns forming in your family relationships, you can act quickly with the support of a therapist. Together, you can get to the bottom of your problems. This means forming new communication skills. And, developing new respect and admiration for all members of your family. No matter what you’re facing in your family, a qualified family therapist can offer you shelter while you weather the storm. Whether you’re right at that point when you can hear the threat of thunder. Or, whether you’re right in the eye of the tornado, you will find safety in therapy.

When is Family Therapy Necessary?

Family therapy is a safe, solution-focused, non-judgmental environment that allows all members of the family to speak freely. If you’re wondering if you’re at a point when family therapy has become a necessity, then you may likely benefit from sessions with a therapist.

Even if you’re only facing minor issues, working with a family therapist gives you the tools you need to improve family dynamics. Sometimes denial is strong. Thus, the signs that you could use professional support become more subtle. For instance, if you feel a pit of dread on your daily commute home, that’s a sign your family is struggling.

Specific Times When Family Therapy is Very Beneficial

If you and your partner have been experiencing difficulties in communication and your children begin to act out and behave in uncharacteristic ways, then family therapy would be of massive benefit. By the time this occurs, your "private" problems have worsened and affected your children. When there’s a lack of balance in the household, all kinds of new behaviors can develop and create further problems down the line.

Family therapy also becomes necessary when you and your partner have separated or divorced but want to work together to raise your children. Proper communication when co-parenting allows you to establish boundaries with one another. It also allows you to focus on the well-being of your children as they grow. Family therapy also prepares you for the introduction of a new partner on either side. This allows your blended family to grow together in a responsible, forward-moving manner. One where all members are respectful and supportive of one another.

If you’re dealing with mental illness in the home you would benefit from working with a therapist. Whether it’s you, your partner, or your children, these situations need professional support from a trained professional. Oftentimes, the person with a mental illness feels isolated and misunderstood. At the same time, other family members feel frustrated. They often become confused by the perspectives and behaviors of the person who is struggling.

Realistically, family therapy can benefit any family. There is always space to learn more about one another, practice new communication techniques, and deepen connections.

How Does Family Therapy Help?

Family therapy creates a safe place for you to improve your family relationships. Your therapist will work closely with all members of the family to understand the source of your current conflict. With this neutral, third-party perspective, you can reach a new understanding of your family dynamic. Therapy will also help you create a plan to move forward as a family in a healthy way.

For instance, family therapy can help you…

Understand your partner in a new way, which deepens your compassion and empathy
Get to the underlying problem of a child’s rebellious behavior and work toward correcting it
Gain a new set of communication tools, which you can use to improve all your relationships
Take a look at yourself from a different perspective, so you can continue your growth as an adult
Bring harmony back into the home, which results in eased tensions and more enjoyment
Create and set boundaries with your partner and remain accountable for following through with them
Practice conflict management strategies to keep your relationships from stagnating

My-Therapy’s Approach to Family Therapy

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Family therapy starts with an assessment of the situation at hand. We begin with the couple. First, a family therapist will ask a set of pointed questions. This helps gain an understanding of both perspectives. It will also help identify each partner’s strengths, and identify areas that could use improvement. Following this assessment, more members of the family are invited to therapy to talk about their concerns. To assist with providing the best care and direction, family therapists use the following approaches:

Gottman Therapy

With Gottman Therapy, the goal is to design interventions that encourage couples to strengthen their relationship in three key areas: conflict management, friendship, and the creation of shared meaning.[1 ] When these areas improve, couples can experience a deeper understanding and connection with one another. Thus, improving communication and intimacy.

Gottman Therapy focuses on nine main components. These components, when combined, make up the “The Sound Relationship House Theory” and includes the following:

Build Love Maps ~ An invitation to deepen your understanding of your partner’s psyche.
Share Fondness and Admiration ~ A method for increasing affection and respect within your relationship.
Turn Towards Instead of Away ~ Guidance which allows you to address one another’s needs head-on and value the small moments. They are crucial ingredients in the recipe for your relationship.
The Positive Perspective ~ An approach that allows for positive problem-solving.
Manage Conflict ~ Acknowledgment that conflict serves a purpose and can be healthy when managed properly.
Make Life Dreams Come True ~ Guidance for creating a safe environment that invites honesty about personal goals and dreams.
Create Shared Meaning ~ A way to gain a deeper understanding of the symbolism present in your relationship.
Trust ~ A way to build a feeling of partnership, wherein each person is not behaving selfishly, minding his or her own concerns. Instead, they are always working toward creating a future that supports the partnership and family.
Commitment ~ Guidance toward deepening commitment to a lifelong journey with your partner. Which, allows you to shift your perspective and move into a more loving and tolerant space.

Emotionally Focused Therapy

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) takes a humanistic approach. It relies on research-based concepts about individuals and their relationships.[2] The concepts of EFT are used in couples therapy, family therapy, and even individual therapy. The driving force of this approach exists in the philosophy that “relationships are at the core of the human experience.”[3] For this reason, the EFT model is used to reestablish bonds and foster resilience in family relationships.

With that perspective, family therapists work to improve mental health by ensuring secure attachment and emotional fulfillment in your familial relationships. EFT has a very structured approach, designed to be short-term (between eight and 20 sessions).

The goals of EFT include:

Identify and develop vital emotional responses
Positively redirect patterns to promote connection
Nurture the bond shared between partners
Express unacknowledged feelings as they’ve developed within a strained family dynamic
Reframe issues with children and family suffering
Increase awareness of attachment-related requirements

How to Prepare for Family Therapy?

When dealing with many people, it’s important to get organized. It can feel a bit chaotic when you’re figuring out how to manage your first family therapy session. You don’t want to miss any important points. It is important that all perspectives are being heard so your therapist has a clear understanding of what’s going on. But, when tensions are high and family stress has your brain on overdrive, you may forget important information when sitting across from your therapist. Thus, preparation should be a priority for your first family therapy session.

Speak to all family members. Have each person write down their primary concerns and any questions they may have.
Write down what you’d like to communicate to your loved ones ahead of time. Keep your words intentional and respectful.
Organize your schedules to ensure a therapy session is never missed.
When it’s your turn to speak, refer to your notes and avoid arguing in session.

Though your sessions may be exhausting some days, family therapy will instill new hope in you and your family members. So long as each person commits to listen and be respectful, your family has the opportunity to rebuild connections and clear away any long-held resentments.[4]

What Can You Expect When You Begin Family Therapy in Wake Forest, NC?

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Expect sessions to take between 50 minutes and an hour. During this time, you may be in the room with other family members, with your partner, or alone. Your therapist will offer recommendations on this end based on your unique situation. During your sessions, you will have the opportunity to talk about how you’ve tried to resolve past conflicts. You can share what has and what has not worked. Each person has the time necessary to clearly express his or her emotions and perspectives.

Additionally, you can expect your family therapist to inquire about family rules and behavioral patterns. These pieces of information are key in determining how conflict arises within your family system. You will be provided with communication and conflict management tools. As a result, you can work through any problems in a positive manner.

Also, expect your therapist to inquire about each person’s strengths and weaknesses. This is so strengths can be further developed, and weaknesses can be addressed to improve your family dynamics.[5]

Final thoughts…

If you’re ready to move forward with family therapy, you’re in a good place. Choose to improve communication, deepen your bonds, and resolve long-standing issues. These are great first steps that will result in a new, fresh perspective for all involved. Family therapy is not a magical, overnight fix for the often complex problems that exist in families. But, it does offer a set of tools you can use to improve your relationships.

Ultimately, family therapy helps you regain focus and realize you’re not meant to be at war with one another. Rather, you can become allies who show their respect and support for one another. By fixing broken communication systems, family therapy helps you create a collaborative, forward-moving environment at home. When a home has this type of harmony, all members of the family feel safe to share their thoughts and feelings. Which in turn, invites collaboration and allows you to set discord aside.

Begin Family Therapy in wake forest, NC

You can start improving communication between family members today. Our caring therapists would be honored to support you from our Wake Forest, NC-based therapy practice. If you are ready to begin strengthening your bonds and resolve conflicts, follow these simple steps: