The Little Things Make a Big Difference (Especially in Self Isolation)
At first glance, the thought of being hunkered down together with our partner during the COVID-19 outbreak likely makes us feel comforted, safe and secure.
However, being around our partner 24/7 for an extended period of time can put a strain on even the healthiest of relationships.
Here are a few simple things you can do daily for your partner that can have a positive impact on your relationship – especially while self-isolating together.
Perform Acts of Kindness
Starting the coffee pot. Unloading the dryer. Writing a sweet message on a post-it note.
These are the small acts of kindness you can do daily to make your partner feel loved and cherished.
What specific act of kindness you choose to do is entirely up to you – but you should draw from your partner’s world or love map to get some ideas.
What are their worries? Stressors? What brings them joy?
Perhaps they get really stressed out with the routine of getting the kids ready. Maybe they love eating a bit of chocolate in the afternoon.
Whatever small thing you can do to help – make it happen.
These small acts of kindness not only brighten your partner’s day, but it reminds them that you pay attention and care about their well-being.
Take a Moment to Really Listen
The act of listening is simple and easy to do, yet so difficult to actually take the time to do it. Life often gets in the way, we become distracted, and we are all guilty of slipping into routines and patterns that do not benefit ourselves or our relationships.
Even while self-isolating and spending even more time together, couples can still neglect to really talk or listen to each other.
You don’t necessarily need to set up a designated time for your partner to share things with you (though if this works for you, go for it!). On the contrary, opportunities to listen often present themselves organically.
Perhaps your partner is emotionally touched by a film you watch together, and they use that moment to share something intimate with you they have never shared before.
It’s in moments like these that it is important to be prepared and ready to actively listen to what your partner has to say. It’s a priceless opportunity to learn even more about their values, history, hopes, and aspirations and invest in the future of the relationship.
Open Yourself Up
While it’s important we make time to listen to our partners, it’s also important that we turn towards them and open up to them as well.
We’re all going through uncharted territory, and it’s likely that conflicts, fears, and stressors may arise where we need to express ourselves.
Perhaps you are now working together from home, sharing office or table space, and juggling to raise the kids. That would be stressful for anyone, and it’s important to let your partner know your frustrations and what they could do to help.
That doesn’t mean you should unload on them in an unhealthy way. However, having a 5-minute conversation to vent or ask for help will help you both in the long term.
By expressing your needs, stresses, or worries to your partner, they will be in a much better position to support you. Not only that, but they will know that you trust them.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
Keeping a positive attitude and mindset while in the midst of a global pandemic is a tall order.
However, relationships thrive when couples maintain a positive outlook on life and in relation to problems. Especially while self-isolating together, it’s important to go easy on each other and try to roll with the punches.
The dishes may not get done as fast as you’d like them to. You may be struggling with cabin fever. You both may be more irritable than normal. You may have totally different approaches to working from home.
That’s okay.
Everything does not have to be perfect in this moment. Cut yourself and your partner some slack, try to stay optimistic, and be grateful that you get to take on self-isolation together.
Sources:
· https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-little-things-you-do/
· https://www.gottman.com/about/the-gottman-method/
· https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-sound-relationship-house-build-love-maps/
· https://www.gottman.com/blog/make-life-dreams-come-true/
· https://www.gottman.com/blog/turn-toward-instead-of-away/
· https://www.gottman.com/blog/3-ways-to-keep-your-relationship-in-the-positive-perspective/