You recently found out your partner cheated on you. Now what? Do you leave? Do you give your partner a second chance? Can trust even be rebuilt? Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship. But, what do you do when that foundation has been destroyed?

Rebuilding trust after an affair is hard and painful, but it is possible.

Here are some tips for rebuilding trust after an affair:

Be honest and raw

Ignoring the issue or your emotions will only make things worse in the long run. Healthy communication is essential within any relationship. This is especially true after a betrayal of trust. You must be able to talk in an honest way with your partner. Your partner must also be open and honest with you.

Don't be a helicopter partner

Many couples mistake building trust for watching their partner's every move. As tempting as it can be to do this, this will end up destroying trust in the long run.

Are you checking your partner's texts and emails? Are you checking in with them a million times a day? Do you track them on their phone? If you are engaging in any other behavior that involves keeping an eye on them, you aren't building trust. All you are doing is giving them a constant reminder that you don't trust them.

Stay "present-oriented"

Some of the most challenging parts of rebuilding trust after someone cheats are staying in the present moment and building toward the future. It can be hard not to live in or worry about the past. You have every right to feel hurt, angry, and sad about your partner's decision to cheat. But, if you can't let go of those feelings it may be a sign that it is not worth staying in. You want to work toward a more positive, open approach to the relationship.

Go to Marriage Counseling

One very practical solution to rebuilding trust in your relationship is marriage counseling.

Sometimes, all it takes is an impartial third party to help you learn how to get your relationship back on track. Plus, sometimes it helps to have your feelings heard by someone who isn't your partner.

Trust yourself

This might be the most important (and hardest) thing to do. You might be questioning your instincts at this point. you may be thinkings "Should I have done something different?" or "Shouldn't I have seen this coming?" But, learning to trust yourself, your feelings, and that you'll be okay moving forward is key to any healthy relationship. If something doesn't feel right, rethink whether it's right for you. It's only when you have complete trust in yourself that you can have full trust in your partner.

Begin Virtual Marriage Counseling in Wake Forest, NC with my therapist

Your relationship doesn’t have to end after an affair. Our caring therapists are ready to support you from our Wake Forest, NC-based therapy practice. Together, we can work through what is affecting you and your partner. If you’re ready to start, follow these simple steps:

1. Learn more about online therapy with My- Therapist.

2. Meet with one of our caring therapists.

3. Start your Telehealth therapy journey!

Other Services Offered At My Therapist

Marriage counseling isn't the only service offered at our Wake Forest, NC-based practice. Other services include online therapy, family therapy, individual therapy for relationship issues, couples workshops, and couples intensive therapy. We also offer support through foundations of lasting love and AAMFT supervision. Read our blog to learn more about us and our services!