The Holidays are Fast Approaching

You may find parts of this season thrilling and enjoyable. Yet, there’s a part of you that dreads the stress, hustle, and bustle that holiday festivities bring. If left unchecked, it’s easy to let holiday stress overwhelm you with anxiety. Thus, keeping you from enjoying the most wonderful time of the year.

Connecting with Family During the Holidays

The secret to enjoying the holidays without drama and stress is establishing connection rituals with your loved ones, installing boundaries, and communicating them with others. So, today I recommend you take a moment to read this blog. We will learn how a Gottman therapist puts holiday stress to rest.

What are Rituals of Connection?

A ritual of connection is an important way to turn towards and connect with your loved ones. These most often occur with your immediate family. These create a sense of security and are crucial in a healthy relationship.

It can be hard to define your own rituals of connections or family traditions. This is especially true when you’re used to relying on your parents or family of origin to provide for them. But, creating rituals of connection unique to your immediate family is an important part of caring for your wellbeing. These rituals can help prevent stress during the holiday season.

Creating Connection Rituals

Allow yourself some time to think about the things that actually matter to you. What needs do you need to fulfill during this season? Brainstorm some ideas to help you meet your needs! Then, ask yourself who you want to include in these rituals? Is it only your immediate family, your parents, your in-laws, etc?

It is crucial that you discuss these with your spouse or partner if you have one. Allow them to give their input and ask them how they want to proceed. They may not agree with everything you have to say and that’s okay. Find the middle ground and compromise.

An example of a connection ritual may include staying in bed on Christmas morning and waiting for a sign from Santa before opening presents. Or, eating Chinese food on Christmas.

What are Boundaries?

You may have heard the term boundaries thrown around. But, do you actually know what we therapists mean when we use this term? If you do, then feel free to skip ahead to the next section, but if you don’t allow me to explain it to you.

A boundary is a limit or set of rules that you set to protect yourself and your wellbeing. The same principle extends to your family as well.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

Setting boundaries is a key part of protecting the rituals of connection and routines you’ve established. You may only want to open gifts with immediate family before joining parents or in-laws later. Or, you may want to do one thanksgiving this year instead of multiple. Setting boundaries around your time allows you to make these dreams a reality.

But, it may not be enough to draw your boundaries from yourself or your family. If so, you must then communicate them to all the other players. You can’t expect them to know or respect your boundaries without telling them what they are in the first place.

If this makes you nervous, you’re not alone. It can be hard to break away from previous rituals of connection and form your own. But if those aren’t bringing you happiness, it’s what you have to do.

Here’s A Tip to Beat the Anxiety:

Be confident in yourself and advocate for your wellbeing. Then, tell others what your boundary is and explain why you established it. Use I statements.

Please know you may experience push-back. That’s normal. In this case, you need to be empathetic and confirm their needs. In the end, it’s up to you how much you want to compromise. I encourage you to think of acceptable compromises ahead of time.

What Happens if Someone Violates my Boundaries?

Truth be told, this happens sometimes. That’s why it’s important to define ahead of time what the consequences of violating your boundaries are. It may involve you leaving a family gathering. Or, asking a family member to kindly take a step back and respect your family time. Sometimes, it can be as simple as reminding them of your boundary. If they still disrespect your request, you need to re-examine your relationship. Or, consider family therapy to help you work through these issues.

If you’re looking for more tips then I encourage you to consider joining us for our free winter workshop series. The first workshop in this series is about managing family stress during holidays! Here a member of our therapy team will share some secrets for avoiding holiday overwhelm. Together, you can work to better enjoy this time of the year!

Sign Up For Our Free Winter Workshop

Creating healthy boundaries can feel like a very difficult process. This is especially true when it involves family. But, a caring therapist from our Wake Forest, NC-based therapy practice can help you learn to connect in healthy ways and create new connection rituals. To start your therapy journey, please follow these simple steps:

1. Learn more about our free winter workshop

2. Meet with a caring therapist

3. Start enjoying the holiday season!

Other Services Offered At My Therapist

Family therapy isn't the only service offered at our Wake Forest, NC-based practice. Other services include marriage counseling, individual therapy for relationship issues, couples workshops, and couples intensive therapy. We also offer support through foundations of lasting love and AAMFT supervision. Read our blog to learn more about us and our services!