A Family Therapist Talks About the Importance of Routines
For some, a rigid routine can feel restricting, even debilitating at times. Still, we must remember that we are all born with a need for consistent, predictable patterns. They are important in learning how to function. When we are young, we must first ensure that our basic needs for safety and nourishment are fulfilled. Then, we can work to form meaningful connections with our caregivers and environment. When a child's biological needs are not met, most of their energy will become focused on survival. Thus, leading to the adoption of inadequate coping skills, potential conflict, or family therapy.
Creating Family Rituals
One of the best ways to establish a secure environment is by installing family rituals. With predictable caregivers and orderly routines, children will thrive. They will become confident enough to use their energy to explore and develop. Routines allow for time optimization. Once established, they can also act as a safety net under challenging situations. A young child needs to know what to expect when they wake up each day. Of course, a routine will look different in each home. When scheduling, it is critical to allow for enough structure and flexibility for everyone's needs. It is also important to establish anchors within each day to come together as a unit. This could include a morning, mealtime, and bedtime routine.
Reliable family routines create purposeful time within each day for positive interactions. This allows a child to explore their world on their own. Then, they can return to their secure base and re-energize on an emotional level. Parents must recognize that this is a fundamental way of introducing family values. For example, suppose the daily routine consists of a home-cooked breakfast. In that case, you will be leading the value of starting the day with family communion. Likewise, suppose the routine consists of a morning bath and teeth brushing. In that case, you will be communicating the importance of daily hygiene and grooming. Committing to a consistent routine will help promote your children's confidence to uphold these values on their own.
The Cost of instability
Without this type of stability, children can become confused or anxious. They may wonder about what each day will hold. Of course, there will be days when the usual routine is interrupted. This may include a planned family vacation or an unplanned medical emergency. In times like these, the parent should strive to lead by example. Children may see frantic reactions to a broken routine from their parents. If so, they will likely follow similar behavior patterns. But, when children see their parents model calmness and flexibility, they will learn to adjust in an appropriate way. They will develop trust that their routine will return despite unexpected occurrences. Over time, children will learn to recognize and regulate their own emotions. Thus, better equipping them to handle difficult times in the future without overwhelm.
Why Are Routines So Important?
Family rituals may not occur daily, but weekly or monthly. No matter the time frame, they are essential to establish deep emotional bonds and trust. Anything can become a family ritual, such as using time spent in the car to discuss feelings. Or, going on a quiet family walk outside. Rituals can also be creating special memories, such as going to visit extended family. These enriching experiences will help forge a positive sense of identity within your children. In the long run, this positive identity will help them cope in hard times. It will remind them there is always a balance between positive and negative emotions.
Studies have shown that children introduced to family routines early in life can better regulate their own emotions and adapt to our ever-changing world. In the end, our early habits will impact the structure of every future relationship we engage. Including our relationship with ourselves.
Begin Family Therapy in Wake Forest, NC
Creating bonds with family is easier said than done. Your family may benefit from working with a marriage and family therapist in Wake Forest, NC. Our caring therapists would be happy to offer support from our Wake Forest, NC-based therapy practice. To start your therapy journey, follow these simple steps:
Meet with a caring therapist
Start creating stronger, lasting routines
Other Services Offered at My Therapist
Family Therapy isn't the only service provided at our Wake Forest, NC-based therapy practice. Other mental health services include couples therapy, individual therapy for relationship issues, couples workshops, and couples intensive therapy. We also offer AAMFT & LMHC-approved supervision, and support for foundations of lasting love. Learn more about our services or visit our blog for more helpful info!
Resources
https://iceeft.com/what-is-eft/
https://www.gottman.com/blog/create-shared-meaning-rituals-for-the-family/