Are you the type to set new years resolutions?

Or, do you avoid them knowing that you’re unlikely to follow through? I always make loose new year’s resolutions. They help me achieve personal and/or professional growth. For example, I have made New Year’s resolutions to reach out to old friends, start conversations with co-workers I don’t know well, and even smile more. These are all wonderful ambitions. But, I began to notice that I was only focusing on MY personal growth. As a result, I ended up neglecting growth in my relationship.

This isn’t surprising. After all, it’s easy to fall into a place of complacency and comfort in relationships. Especially in long-term relationships or marriages. But, a new year marks a wonderful opportunity for new beginnings in your relationship. So this year, I am changing my plan. I am focusing on making realistic resolutions to strengthen my relationship.

Creating Relationship Resolutions

When making a resolution, you must first think about how your life or relationship could improve. For example, do you hug or kiss each other every day? Do you complement each other, go on date nights, etc? If you’re you’re not sure, that’s okay. Sit for a moment in thought, ask yourself what’s going well, is there an opportunity to build on that? Or, is there a nagging feeling in your gut that there’s something that could be better? The answer may not come to you right away. But only planting this thought in your mind will allow you the opportunity to expand on it later.

Once you know what areas of your relationship you’d like to strengthen, I encourage you to write them down.

Put them in your phone or on a post-it on your desk. Then, brainstorm possible resolutions you could make to foster change. For example, you may have been struggling to communicate with your partner. If so, you could try putting your phones away during mealtimes. Or, by checking in with each other at least once during your workday. If your intimate relationship has become stale, you could make the resolution to go on date nights.

It’s important that your resolutions are realistic and attainable. For example, if you’re a busy ER doctor who’s often on call, then regular weekly date nights may not work for you. Instead, you could schedule one every month or so. Or, do flexible date nights at home.

Communicating Resolutions

The last step in making positive resolutions for your relationship is to communicate your desires with your partner. Tell them why you want to make this resolution and get their input. They may have ideas on what you can do or change to be successful. Allow them this opportunity and ask if they have resolutions they would like to make.

You may be looking to learn more about making resolutions for your relationship. If so, I encourage you to consider joining two of our therapists for our free online workshop. Here we will discuss possible resolutions you can make to spice up your relationship. Together, we will work on reframing negative resolutions into more positive ones.

Sign Up For Our Free Winter Workshop

Making viable new years resolutions is much easier said than done. Making progress can take time. But, our caring therapists would be happy to support you from our Wake Forest, NC-based therapy practice. To start your therapy journey, please follow these simple steps:

1. Learn more about our free winter workshop

2. Meet with a caring therapist

3. Start following through on positive resolutions!

Other Services Offered At My Therapist

We offer a variety of services from our Wake Forest, NC-based practice. Our team is happy to offer individual therapy for relationship issues, couples workshops, and marriage counseling. We also offer family therapy, therapy for relationship trauma, couples intensive therapy, foundations of lasting love, and AAMFT supervision. For more helpful information, please read our blog or visit our services page!