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My Partner Won't Go to Counseling With Me. What Should I Do?

Communication is complicated

It can be even more complicated when you and your partner have reached a standstill and can’t seem to understand each other anymore.

You know there is light at the end of the tunnel, and you realize it's time to find a couple's therapist.  You are convinced that your relationship needs an objective third party who won't take sides but will shed light on the areas you and your partner cannot find harmony.

You find time to explain the need for couples' therapy to your partner, but they are not convinced. You might beg, bribe them, or even give them an ultimatum, but no matter what you say, your partner won’t go to counseling. What do you do?

Reasons your Partner Might Not Want To Go To Counseling

Choosing to go to therapy is a big decision. Although you might be ready to seek out professional guidance, your partner might feel hesitant to bring a complete stranger into a very intimate subject matter.  

Perhaps your sex life is a significant issue. Or maybe trust has been broken. Bringing a stranger into such private areas of your life can feel daunting.

Marriage therapists suggest that it is advisable to consider a couple's therapist as a relationship coach – rather than a psychological professional who judges your relationship.

A couple's coach considers and understands both sides and professionally steers communication toward positive solutions. 

Maybe communication has completely broken down, and your partner sees counseling as another form of useless arguing. A professionally trained couple's coach (therapist) can handle communication break downs. They can guide communication for you and your partner to communicate – without instigating more discord between the two of you.

Different ways to suggest couples Therapy

It is essential for your partner not to feel they are being demanded, dragged, or bribed into going to couple’s counseling. No one wants to feel like someone else is making all the decisions in the relationship.  

Experts suggest being open to having an honest conversation with your partner. Remain calm and collected and remain hopeful your relationship can heal. Simply asking your partner to take an active role in mending your relationship with counseling is the first step. It is also important to communicate your commitment to getting to a better place with your partner.

If your partner acknowledges that healthy choices need to occur in the relationship but is still not convinced that counseling will help, be open to other forms of couple's counseling.

Some experts suggest reading a self-help book together can feel a little less intimidating than seeking out traditional couple’s therapy.

There are many great books out there to help couples regain intimacy through healthy communication. Perhaps coming together to discuss the book will bring clarity, communication, and the guidance you both are seeking.

Sometimes too much time spent discussing your issues with your partner can hinder progress. Starting an exercise routine, making a complicated recipe together, or going on a date night with another couple is an alternative form of positive communication with your partner.  

Going to couple’s counseling on your own

If you have exhausted all measures and your partner still will not go to couple's counseling with you, do not deprive yourself of the counseling you know is needed.

Seeking out a professional can give you the insight and clarity you need to communicate your needs with your partner effectively. Healthy relationships stem from the ability to affirm and validate each other. A couple's therapist will be able to guide you.

Begin couples therapy for one in wake forest, nC

You deserve to have fulfilling relationships, and to feel excited about them! Relationship counseling for singles can help you feel more confident about dating. Our Wake Forest, NC therapy clinic has skilled therapists that can help you work through your relationship issues. If you’re ready to start individual therapy for relationship issues, follow these simple steps:

  1. Book your initial individual therapy session.

  2. Meet with one of our caring couples therapists.

  3. Start unpacking your past for a better future!

Other Relationship Therapy Services

Individual therapy for relationship issues isn’t the only service we offer at our Wake Forest, NC therapy practice. We also offer Couples Therapy, Couples Therapy Intensives, Affair Recovery Therapy, AAMFT & LMHC Approved Supervision, Foundations for Lasting Love, Couples Workshops and Retreats, and Online Therapy. Learn more from our blog today!